Humans being free is always possible, even if you don’t see it a lot, like a rainbow.
Why Fuck Suffering?
I mean, there are more immediately pleasurable alternatives out there when it comes to opening our bodies to belonging.
In my experience, you can’t trust suffering until you allow it all the way in. And you can’t be free unless you trust suffering.
Trust it to come. Trust it to go. Trust yourself to listen to it without clenching. It’ll bring you a hostess gift if you make yourself a refuge.
Did you hear F*ck Suffering and think–great! I’d love to never suffer again! Yeah! It sucks! Fuck it!
You’re just who I love to work with. You sense what’s possible. You see the old loops, but you don’t yet know how to stop them.
You can’t let go of what you’ve never really held. That’s avoidance. That just keeps everything just where it is, and all of your precious vitality is squandered keeping that structure of avoidance in place. As fellow humans alive in these interesting times, we really can’t keep doing that.
The sooner we notice what our identity turbines are made of and how they pollute our own fields as well as the neighboring villages, the sooner we can dismantle them and emerge with ease from the ecosystem that already envelops us.
Our ecosystem is restored to health by our intimate presence in it. Our ecosystem broadens by our intimate presence in it.
We are already always in it. I work with people to stop turning away from what is always already there. Pulsing under the trauma and the grief (and the avoidance of both) is ordinary joy.
There is no effort required in this work. Our work will go deeper if you leave ideas about goals and effort and attainment behind. What is required is a willingness to surrender.
This isn’t hard. It’s very, very soft.
My client Kathy gave me one of the best compliments I’ve ever received. She said, “Somehow, you make deep, dark, hard shit fun.” She still saw it as hard, then. In my groups, we go all the way down into what seems unbearable to find out just how buoyant we are–once we are release the old stories we carry like stones. “But this is my stone, and I might need to throw it at somebody or use it to open clams. It’s not just a stone, it’s a tool!” you might say.
It might have been very useful at one time, but that time has passed, and you can drop the rock and meet the world with open hands. You can trust grief. You can trust joy. You can trust gentleness. You can trust life. You can trust it to give you what you need and you can trust it to take away what you don’t. You might not like that, but you can trust it. Meet suffering like a lover and ease will follow.
If you’re ready.
This comment from client Maddy beautifully captures what a lot of people think after participating in a one-day Boundaries and Belonging session and are deciding whether to take that bigger leap into a F*ck Suffering group:
“I came away from the session feeling much more free, physically and emotionally. The questions you asked were challenging but in a way that helped me get to the core of what was coming up and holding me back.
I realised that I have some power and depth and authenticity that I’ve not explored or allowed to show. I’m still not sure how to truly embody that part of me but it was a revelation to have it mirrored and for me to really acknowledge it.
I’m a little intimidated by where the work might take me, if I’m ready for it.”
This level of honesty and self-awareness is a pretty good indicator that she is ready. Fear can be noticed and held until it’s ready to go, but only from an open, honest homespace, deep inside our own skin. From willingness, truth emerges.
Sometimes we greet it with a rose, lit with delight. Sometimes we come with a sword, cutting through delusion. With one in each hand, we can meet and metabolize the whole range of our humanity and be fully alive. We can be free.
We can f*ck and be f*cked by suffering until we abide in enduring intimacy, until we love our own bodies and the body of the world unconditionally.
I do this work from this hope.
Three-month groups with weekly coaching calls that touch the psychological, spiritual, and somatic levels, because you are ready and willing to molt, even if you don’t know who’s under there yet. Email firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s meet. The next session starts 4/26/22 and the calls will be on Tuesday nights at 7pm US Eastern Time. This is a deep dive. You are committing to yourself and the group for 3 months of exploration, excavation, and play. When you’re ready, you’re ready. You’ll know.
Boundaries and Belonging
Are you afraid that if you become yourself you’ll lose things you don’t want to lose? Do you only have those things because you don’t know how to hold boundaries? Do you confuse boundaries with demands? Do your preferences have claw marks on them? Have you forgotten what a “f*ck yes” feels like? Come dip a toe in, intimately. Join these half-day sessions. The next session is SAT MAY 21 @10am US EASTERN TIME. It lasts 4 hours. Read about my approach to boundaries here and here.
You can also Venmo the $85 to @reihance with your email so I can send you the welcome note.
Are you at a tender crossroads? Are you interested in more intensive guidance for where you’re at right now? Are you in the awakening process and feel like you’re losing your shit? Do you have the sense somewhere deep inside your body that you don’t need things to be different, but instead can deepen into being with what is and notice the next right action right there? Are you ready to deepen into self-compassion and allow boundaries to emerge from yes? Pay for your session below. I ask for payment at time of booking so I can keep my calendar open and convenient for everyone. For June and early July, please email email@example.com to schedule.
Interested in a More Flexible Option?
Try Pocket Coaching via What’s App. The support you need when you need it, using text and voice memos.
Once we have an initial One-on-One session to get a sense of where you’re at, we begin.
As soon as you sign up, we get started. Begin with the button below, then set up your 1:1, and we’ll send you the What’s App info. It’s all right here.
“It’s hard for me to put into words how powerful and life-changing Rei Hance’s work is. She’s a master and her compassionate teaching, her sharp observational skills and her overall guidance have had a tremendous effect on my well-being. The sessions felt intimate and hands-on, even through the distance of Zoom. My mind feels calmer, my body more at ease, my humour is more forthcoming, and my optimism has returned after being absent for years. For the level of healing and the sense of relief and well-being her work has brought me, the time I spent with Rei might be the most worthwhile investment I have ever made.”
Anthony, Melbourne, Australia
Confidence doesn’t come from certainty. It comes from ease in uncertainty.
Are my current offerings out of range for you financially? Come to the Let’s Connect page and send a message to apply for assistance. Willingness is currency. If it hums, it hums.